Wednesday, February 24, 2016

So, When the Past Just Passing By

Oftentimes when we learn how to move on, suddenly the past came back, passing by
Heck to that!
As if you were strolling ever so happily on your favorite street, like you live the life you wanted
Happier than you never before

But then, you saw this one familiar face
At first, you did not really recognize the face
However, you felt something brewing inside
You just had no idea what that was
You thought harder about the face, the feelings stirred inside
Then, it struck very hard that it was that person
The person who was once meant the whole world to you
The person who was once made your world go round
And the same person who made your world shattered into pieces that you could never imagine picking up the pieces to put it back together

It was very difficult
It required the strength of God to go through it
But that's hardly to happen
Hence, you ended up curling into a ball
Drenched with sadness
Heaviness
Broken-hearted
Sorrow
Like someone died that day
Literally, as if you died that day
Back to square one
The point when you feel like nothing mattered to you anymore
It happens almost all the time, to me, personally

It is so hard to learn back how to walk when you fell so hard
It is so hard to learn back how to love when hatred was the only thing you knew
It is so hard to learn back how to smile when you felt like there was nothing to cheer up on
It is so hard to learn back how to live when you knew there was nothing to look up to

At first, I had no idea why the cycle keep on going over and over again
Especially when you feel like there was no one watching over you
When you feel like you were alone the whole time
As if there was no one's there to hold you when you feel like crying
When you tried to reach out, there's no one there to reach out for

It's tough
It's depressing
It's harsh
It's painful

As the cycle keeps on going on and on and on
I felt so tired
I felt so hopeless
I felt so helpless
I felt so alone

But somehow, I had an epiphany
It somehow dawned on me that the time has come
To learn back how to walk, even when my legs refused to do so
To learn back how to love, even my heart said no
To learn back how to smile, at the silliest things, at all the small things
To learn back how to live, the life that I had always imagine living

Disregard how tough, how tired you are
Disregard how depressing, how hopeless you feel
Disregard how harsh the reality that you feel helpless
Disregard how painful of being alone

It is one chance of living that we have to make full use of it
I know it may sound cliche, but yeah, we choose the life we want to live in
If we choose happiness, then, happy life lies ahead, vice versa
Therefore, make the happy choice once you wake up in the mornings, even though heaviness might be very disturbing to make such choice

Think good thoughts
Think good things
Think happy things
Think happy thoughts

How hard your past gets you crawling, fight back the tears, muster the smile
How hard your past gets you down on your knees, fight back the tears, muster the smile

Smile, smile, smile
As bright as the sun, even it's a gloomy day

You will be the one who decide how your days going to be
People around you might exert some effects on how you are feeling
But then again, it is you who have the control over your own self
And, just a gentle reminder, you don't have the control over another human being

They are what they are
You can't control to be what you like them to be
You can't control how you'd like them to treat you, how nice you wanted them to treat you
You can't control why someone do not like you
You can't control the other person
You just can't

And just know that you are not obliged of how they behave
Good or bad
They are what they are

Thus, better be control on what is controllable
That is our own selves
You will make it through the rain, yes you will


p/s: it's fine to let the tears fall sometimes



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