Thursday, January 17, 2013

So, The Feeling That I Still Haven't Quite Figured Out Yet

What would u feel when u face these situations

When you have this fellow friend
The one who will always ask u about the things u like to do
As for me, I like to sleep
The one who always keen to ask whether I'm gonna sleep or not
Regardless of time without judging
The one who understands and takes note on how I like to do the things I like
The one who wouldn't do anything that might disturb my sleep
The one who do the best to keep me sleep soundly
But in return, I think I did less to compensate of what this one did

I can feel that if I were to be that friend, who do the best to keep his friend happy, and that friend didn't do much to keep the mutual benefits, I think, I'm gonna explode

I think I'm doing my best to keep them happy but got nothing in return
It's not about keikhlasan or whatnot
I don't demand something material
It's enough for you to be doing your best to keep others happy, that is including me
It shouldn't always be about material, it's about something less extrinsic, more intrinsic

That is from my perspective of how I work in a community

Maybe, the existence of such friend who look after you just gives you the sense of alive
You feel like you exist

The feeling that I am still in process of figuring it out

What should I feel when someone treat me right but I didn't do the same?

What should I feel when I think that I treat someone well enough for them to live with comfort but didn't get any acknowledgment or whatnot?

This kinda thinking is endless
I don't know what kind of feeling I should root for
It's very complicated

Very intricate to care this delicate heart

*too many whatnots, ahakz*


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