Thursday, June 14, 2012

So, it's Wordy Wednesday

I'm getting confused
I don't know who are the people who look after me
I am sure of a few of them
But I don't want to put all of my hopes on them because they have their own obligations, problems, and other issues
I'm grateful for it but it is not enough
Should be of somebody being ungrateful?

My mind keep on racing to find the answers of, "Who really wants me to be around?"
"What are the reasons they want me to be around?"
I'm hoping that the reason should be the same like mine
I want to have a company, who really wants to be around me because I can be really easy to get along with
Even with a complete stranger
I'm totally friendly, but insecure of what they might think of me

It is very hurtful to think about it
Being a teenager is not fun at all
It is because every little emotions are amplified to a very great amplitude that I couldn't bear the results of it

To get what I really want is hard and some of it are not suitable for me
The choice that left for me to opt is that, living a life that is full of others' decisions
It can be said as something they called as living in denial

I've been living like that ever since I was born
I was unable to choose the things that I like under the circumstances that I had to live on in my younger age
That was when I did not have to deal with this shitty sad emotion

Now, everything is heightened
I try to suppress all of the bad feelings, letting the good one to overshadow them

Staying positive is easier said than done

Therefore, I'm struggling
To stay at my best behaviour
Help me



XOXO




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