Saturday, June 30, 2012

So, it's an exam syndrome

"Adoi" is the word that I keeps on uttering every now and then
It's because of the syndrome to sit for exam, feverish sensation adds up to runny nose
Haish!
I'm afraid that I'll atishoo too much tomorrow in the exam hall, sitting for the first time

Demam, selsema, pening, sume tu alasan-alasan cliché yang tak patut dijadikan alasan untuk tak score

Just try as hard as u can, do whatever it takes, under any of the circumstances given
Of course it'll in God's hand, the results
But remember, if there's no effort being put into, the results will be the same
I'm amazed by the very passionate friend of my to travel all the way from Malacca to polish up her skills on a subject that she's not confident with
*tabik spring*

It's also because of that u're not going to sit for any of this kinda exam later in the working life
Eh, I just realize that this is a good point to ponder!
To my own surprise from my own ad hoc opinion
Haha
Yeay!
It shows babbling is not really a bad thing to do
Hehe
It helps to get u ideas

All the best to my fellow colleagues for the final exam!!!
May u come out with flying colours for this semester and the followings
I hope I am not too late to wish to my friends since some of them are already sit for a few papers
May u did well and keep on the good hard work
I believe in good hard works will pay off in time
Whether we realize it or not
U'll realize it when the time has come




XOXO





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Sunday, June 24, 2012

So, fun, fun, fun weekend retreats

Woohoo!
I was back at my rental house
Actually, that's not the great news that made me go woohoo
It was the weekends retreats
In two weeks in the row

I was flabbergasted and on the cloud nine
The first one was last week
I was with my besties to look after our juniors in Interschool Debate Competition '12
It was the first time for me to be at IDC even the chance might be for me since I was in secondary school
It was a great experience
My besties are great debaters that one of them managed to be the top 10 debaters in 2007's IDC
Still, they are still great debaters and I am proud of each of them

We'd been so supportive to our juniors till we were accused to be the secret informant to the competing juniors
We're shocked and felt bad to our juniors because they were the target team
Even so, we just continued to enjoy ourselves and support our team
I felt blessed for the weekend
I believe the team can do better than that
They need training

The second retreat was over a few minutes ago
When I stepped back inside this house, after exchanging goodbyes with my besty
He sent me back to this monotonous life of mine
However, I don't mind
I have to bear in mind that everything has its own goodness and badness
Think +ve

Then, our weekend started when we were conversing about the latest updates of each of us, even we were just met the previous week
Haha
We are so obsessed about each other
But, I can't help but to forget most of the details
The only thing I'm sure of is that, they are one of the places where my heart lays
The talking and bitching keep on until 3am
The next day, we went for banana leaf meal
The meal supposed to be tasty but something when wrong, I flipped the banana leaf indicating that I disliked it
Maybe we'll try at another branch of it, somewhere in Bangsar
Then, we went to Song Box
One of the best place to karok at the best rates
Very affordable, the best price ever
Then, we said goodbyes to one of us, leaving the two of us

Then, we went to get char kuey teow for our late supper
We went to Warisan Sambal Opah (if I were not mistaken)
The char kuey teow was awesome!
But the portion was not sufficient for the both of us
Actually, the restaurant serves nasi lemak
The buffet line is full with delicious dishes We were tempted to buy the nasi lemak, at least to kill our craving
But, to no avail, because we were out of time
Then, we took away otak-otak that tasted so nice but it will be nicer if it was still hot, provided we ate them very late at time since both of us are too busy with our new gadget, note that my besty's is newer than mine

Today, we slept like there was no tomorrow
We went out and got our brunch, meatballs at IKEA
The establishment was so full that the food outlet barely had any empty seat for us
Then, off we went back after we finished buying things
Then, the retreat was over

I was so happy
I just couldn't convey the feeling with words
I just wanna convey my gratitude by saying thank u so much for it
I don't think I can't thank them so much
Let us pray for our friendship will last forever
:)

XOXO


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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

So, it is almost fortnight it been gone


It has been almost two weeks' time that my precious pencil case gone to someone else's hands
I miss it very much
Very, very much
Maybe not many people around me now, knows how much it means to me, the pencil case


It has a very unique memory
I had been with it for almost 6 years but we will never have our sixth anniversary
Listening to Sara Evans' Stronger album just reminded me of my pencil case
Just so you know, I barely listen to the song words
I am more into the mood, the emotions of the song than the words


This country album just reminded me much of it
I miss the cute Sabah key chain given to me by my best friend
I miss the rare key chain that my former roommates gave me, it was made from clay that he made it himself that I asked him so that he gave me and he did
And I lost it

I miss all of my stationery
I miss even more and more and more my old stationery
Most of them were with me more than a year, even the eraser
It was from my diploma years
The pink mechanical pencil
The pinned button attached to it with my initial letter on it, boldly displayed whenever it was out of the bag
Oh, I think I should try not to remember each of it
That will make me be extremely depressed
I just can help but to endure the sorrow when one of my precious and having much of sentimental values is gone forever

Maybe some of you will never understand

I can only hope that the picture of it will stay on my mind, since I have no other picture of it
This may sound silly
Again, maybe some of you will never understand
Or all of you?
I don't mind if you want to criticize me but this is what I choose to happen,
I want to keep missing my pencil case, even one of my friends said, "Let it go"
I will but not forgetting it

Now, I have a new one to replace it
But it is not as exciting as my lost one
I don't get excited when I pick the new one out of the bag

Dear pencil case, I'll miss you as long as I can remember you.



XOXO




(p/s: It may sound psychotic, but again, maybe some of you will never understand. Or all of you? IDK)




Thursday, June 14, 2012

So, it's Wordy Wednesday

I'm getting confused
I don't know who are the people who look after me
I am sure of a few of them
But I don't want to put all of my hopes on them because they have their own obligations, problems, and other issues
I'm grateful for it but it is not enough
Should be of somebody being ungrateful?

My mind keep on racing to find the answers of, "Who really wants me to be around?"
"What are the reasons they want me to be around?"
I'm hoping that the reason should be the same like mine
I want to have a company, who really wants to be around me because I can be really easy to get along with
Even with a complete stranger
I'm totally friendly, but insecure of what they might think of me

It is very hurtful to think about it
Being a teenager is not fun at all
It is because every little emotions are amplified to a very great amplitude that I couldn't bear the results of it

To get what I really want is hard and some of it are not suitable for me
The choice that left for me to opt is that, living a life that is full of others' decisions
It can be said as something they called as living in denial

I've been living like that ever since I was born
I was unable to choose the things that I like under the circumstances that I had to live on in my younger age
That was when I did not have to deal with this shitty sad emotion

Now, everything is heightened
I try to suppress all of the bad feelings, letting the good one to overshadow them

Staying positive is easier said than done

Therefore, I'm struggling
To stay at my best behaviour
Help me



XOXO




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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

So, Thoughtful Thankful Tuesday

I grew up in a not-so-well family
We had a lot of issues going on but we think we should let it be at rest that we haven't do much of talking about it
Like I heard it on TV, feelings are like fire, the more we focus on it, the bigger it gets since the focus that we put on it is something we called as fuel, like petrol, gasoline, and the likes
We live like nothing happened, despite the state of being deficient in so many ways

When I am having great friends around me now, I feel like I'm alive

I haven't had the experience of dining out with my family
But u guys lemme feel eating out with a family

I haven't had the experience of driving here and there with my family
But u guys lemme feel to drive with a family around in Shah Alam, Melaka, PD, and anywhere possible

I haven't had the experience to get on the bike with my family members, going to places nearby like grocery shops
But u guys lemme enjoy the wind while I am on the back of the motorcycle while a family member is riding

I haven't had the feeling of shopping with my family, of new baju raya, baju kemeja, and others
But u guys lemme have company to go around to shop with a family, despite the less money that we had at that time

I haven't had to laugh so much with my family
But u guys lemme laugh so much with my family that I started to crack jokes and laugh with my real family

Thank u so much for the experience
U guys are more than friends
U guys are like my real family

I just don't know how much I owe u
I hope that we'll remain the same despite the rough weather that coming onto us
I just don't know how to explain this wonderful feelings
I don't think I can thank u enough

But please, accept my profound apology if I hurt u in any way possible
Please know that I'm way much grateful than I think u know
And
Thank you.




XOXOXO




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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

So, I am not having much things to speak about

I may look into non-verbal communication
When it comes to communicate
Since I think I don't mind we might don't talk that much
But if u smile a lot, everytime I am within your field of sight
That is more flattering than a forceful conversation that u wish u didn't want to have at that time
Please portrays some gestures that I'm wanted

I just have nothing to say
I'm really sorry
I'm don't have the stories to be told
I'm really sorry



XO




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Sunday, June 10, 2012

So, it's my first cover on YouTube!



I'm so excited but I don't know what to expect out of it
Hope you'll like it!




Note: Segannya :P




XOXO





So, it's called "Little Cottage"

It's located at Saujana Utama, a place that I assume to be a hidden city
To explain that, all the way from my place at Puncak Alam to Saujana Utama is mostly barren land
When you are coming from my place, you'll feel the same

In addition, this area is more developed than my residential area
I was here to see my friends having their lunch
They offered me their food but somehow, I don't feel like eating at the moment
I'm so sorry for that

Thay had mee goreng, two sizzling yee mee, and spaghetti fettuccini carbonara
Also, mini burgers that were so cute!
I came all the way from Klang, straightaway to Saujana Utama

I felt sorry for them that I couldn't be together with them for our role play assignment

The outlet was a bit haywire since it is establishing
For starters, I think they made a good progress
Just that, they need to improve their food preparation period
It is because they were waiting for a very long time for their own respective orders

For me, it was enlightening
You guys should eat here to help them getting even more established!



XOXO




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Friday, June 8, 2012

So, cliché is not cliché at all

I have this thought going on in my mind
I think I have written about this before, I guess
But somehow, I think I want to write more about it

To help me getting rid of this very scary revolving ever-annoying thoughts
To help me be more productive

The goal that I'm trying to reach
To be as productive as I can
I think I couldn't do it yet since I haven't define what I really want to do
Still thinking over and over about it
It is because I am still studying
I want to explore more about what the world can offer
That's what they called it as, information gathering

Back to the main topic, cliché is not cliché at all

The way people say, "cliché lah wey," is so demotivating
It makes me think to be out of the box
But the question is, am I able to do so?
Or are u?
That is a simple question
But yet, can it be resolved?
Yes, it will be a great think if you are able to do so, but it will consume more even more than u thought it would be

Seriously, I'm annoyed with that kind of remarks
Especially from those who speaks louder than a big speaker at weddings and influential in the class or in the community
In addition with more sarcasm, it just really depressing
It just drags me down, down further deep inside the big black hole
Into nothingness
My goodness, I'm really struggling to stay out of the "cliché circumference"
To stay out of "cliché-ness"

I need to tackle this thing like a rugby player, tackling their opponents, drag them down to the ground, to impede their opponents' movements, to ease their way to score for more points
That's what I'm going to do it
But I'll do it in a way that does not involve any physical encounter
It's more towards mental strength

Ok, let us go down, on how to tackle this thing
I came up with a very simple thought
It's like life where there is a circle, where they called it as, the wheel of the world, turning around

Products also have its own life cycle
Therefore, it can be concluded that, anything in this world will go back to where it may passed, in some other time
We can called it as cliché since it is repeating, redundant
Same old, same old

On the other hand, the problem arise when u said the word with the accompaniment of a message: "So lame!"
That is the part that you are feel you work is worthless

In fact, most of the things that is considered to be cliché are the ones that being modified to be one of the greatest things in this world
The people who is very far-sighted, will neglect what people might say in the first place
There are always rooms for innovations
Don't try to put yourself in a very difficult situation whereby you try to get away from the shadow of cliché-ness
Try to improvise things
Also, u don't have to think much about the hidden message, which is "So-lame" message
It will reduce your productivity
Believe in, "Great success start from a simple, small steps"
I don't think I pick the line from anywhere
If it was accidentally to be the same with the existing one, the message is the same
"Starts small to go big"

XOXO


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Wednesday, June 6, 2012

So, mengantuknya

Dear blog,

I just wish I can sleep all day long
Just to shut the whole world up for a few seconds
I feel a little bit ill but it haven't shown the real symptoms
Only the feverish sensation that is always annoying
Tahan, tahan, tahan!


XOXO




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Monday, June 4, 2012

So, welcome back to your home country

WELCOME BACK!!!


I hope you have enough retreat
I hope you have recover from, what they called it, jetlag
I hope you know what jetlag feel like
I hope you still remember me


I am totally excited to have dates with you!!!
I am totally looking forward to your next plans, with loads of 's'


I think I have no idea how to initiate
I think I am a good supporter


Please know that I'll support you
Please know that I'll do whatever to help


Keep the momentum up, even u had a very rough time
But u manage to seal the sorrow
I don't think u were sad about that
Just feeling unlucky about it
And
"Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby"


That's what u called as "The Climb"
The one that He designated for you
You have a very great faith
You have a very great determination
Just for you information, I adore you for that


Let us be friends, best friends, or beyond best friends
Keep it up
Make your family proud of you
But please, not to lose the faith to Him


Yours sincerely,
Pora


XOXO



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So, it's already June 2012

Dear blog,

I didn't realize it's already in the middle of 2012
It had been like a swoosh of a wind
Just like everything happened in the past 5 months for only a blink of an eye
*blink*
"Oh, it's already June"
So far, everything was good
I shouldn't hope for more than what I got
I could be ungrateful
And I don't wanna be that
So, let us see what is going to be
This last month of the first half of 2012
I just wanna feel blessed to be around the ones who cared for me
That I will always look after them
Do the same just like how they do it to me
That's what they call it as, 'What u give, u get back'
*smiling*


XOXO



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Saturday, June 2, 2012

So, it's dinner time

Now, I'm dining with my dear housemates
They just came back from Shah Alam at dusk when I was taking my nap
Afterwards, Thundercats was on TV but I was having hangover-like feeling
Then, I didn't watch the modern version of Thundercats

At the very moment, suddenly, I am attacked by the pang of missing the moments I had with my bestfriends

These are some of the moments that I missed the most


When we were eating, I passed the chilli on his plate because he loves chilli

When we were in the car, we sang along to the blaring radio, when it played our favourite songs

When we dined, we exchanged our dishes, to get everybody to have the taste of them

When we left in a room, we gossipped a lot about everything. Even, catching up until the sun came out

When we walked, we made fun about everything we said, relating to anything available in the surroundings

When we stressed, we made funny faces, stupid moves to reduce the tension in the atmosphere

When we were watching the telly, even everyone was focussed on that idiot box, I found a sheer joy in that silence

When I was down, you were always there for me. But it was long ago, provided one day I feel like a year without rain

When I felt I was nothing, you cheered me up, making me feel like I was on top of the world

When I felt I couldn't do anything, you were there, saying all the things that I needed to hear. You came just at the right time


I feel so blessed that I found you guys along my way on the road, called "Life"



XOXO





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So, it should be a serene Saturday

It has been a while I did not write a post
So, here we go...

Today, I wake up to an empty house
I only hears the sound of the fan, rotating to its max speed
Last night was the awkward night that I was left by my housemates that they told me that they are leaving for Shah Alam on the eleventh hour
At first, I felt like, "My goodness, why they weren't telling me yesterday?"
Sentip punya statement la
But, I thought about it again and again
The very same thought revolving in my head
I was upset but I tried to reason out
And I came up with this idea, "Why am I worrying to much about some people who do not want them to be worried about?"
It's not that I'm being obnoxious, I just want to make myself feeling worthy
I'm easily worried over small little things that sometimes drives me crazy
Like a person can drive off from the road, into the whatever possibilities, when he was distracted over a dot of spilled sauce on the passenger seat
As simple as that, the distraction that might lead me to major headache

However, they still worth to be worried upon
So, I won't be mad, just that I lower down the level of my "caringness" on them
They are good friends

I feel like to doze off even longer but I just can't
I was baffled with the assignment that I put it on hold
I don't think I can finish up
My goodness, that's one of the statement that will make my friends' faces gone white
I just cannot let them down
It does not matter even my paper will be a cliché paper but I'm thinking of, "Let us get in done!"
Somehow, I feel like it is impossible
My friend once said, "Cuba berdengket-dengket, jangan tak buat langsung"
I will do that
I will think overly on a very simple things
*trying to do reverse psychology*
Psikologi balikan, they call it in Malay

XOXO





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So, it's called as feverish sensation

It's the time for assignment season!