Tuesday, June 14, 2011

so, what do u expect from the word called, "relationship"?

What am I really looking for in that word?

Personally, when it comes to relationship, I see it as something that we need to commit to
Therefore, there are kinds of relationships that you can commit
It can be friendship, or known as platonic relationship
Or maybe, more than that - romantic relationship
Platonic relationship is when you have the friendly relationship
However, personally, I think the extension of being just a friend, it can be like very close with no sexual matters related
It can be involving love but not that similar of how to show love by making love
OK, stop it rite there about that

Apa yg hang duk buat tu?

What I am looking for a friendship is the kind that are willing to be through thick and thin
Though family is very, very important but yet, friends, especially the close ones are given the right attention
It is like a marriage commitment

Eh, ko jgn nk lebih2 eh!
Ko ape tau?

OK2, chill girl~
Lemme redefine it back
It is more or less like a marriage but there is no tying any knot and no strings attach
However, having said that, remember the fact that we are human
Especially the ones with OCD, just like me, it happens that we really want things to be like what have been told, have been agreed upon

Why people always hard to keep their words?
Is that so hard?SO why bother to promise if you can't?
Now I really agree on the saying, 
"The more we talk, the more mistakes we make"
Better silent than too loud
Just talk the talk, walk the walk

Maybe I am asking too much
However, I don't think I have the courage to commit in new relationship, neither the both type of it
I dun think I have the strength
I have lack of confidence
I don't have the common grounds which most of people do
People can talk about their good families
About their siblings who have been very successful
About movies they watch
About new things they got from the store
I just dunno what to tell
Maybe listening will do it but it will not suffice most of the time
My life have been hard
I don't think most of the people know
That is why, socially, I am inhibiting myself, abstaining myself to go for whatever thing I want in my life
Up until now, I don't think I know what I am up for, unlike most of my friends
They know what they want
They have discover themselves
They are almost there
I am just a pathetic me

Going on with the flow wherever it carries me
I dun thing I have what I really want
That really get me down
Down the drain

As to speak on romantic relationship
There are nil
It is because, most of people are visual 
They will like what they see if the thing is beautiful and very interesting
I don't have that
Then, when the visual factor fails the interest
They will look for another thing, which can be the audio, the voice
I dun have that either
What I am trying to say is I have nothing to offer for that kind of relationship
SO, I cannot up for that, for now

The bottom line, I would like to thanks for those who have been understanding
Being all by my side at most time
Being the best buddy I have ever have
Taking me in, a part of their lives
Being the great support I have ever need

I just wanna thank you for the good times, and bad times
The ups and the downs as well
For everything you gave me during these years
Thank you very much
I will always remember those years
And I am so sorry for everything that may have gone overboard
I am so sorry if I am not being able to fulfill your wishes
I am just a lame and pathetic friend of yours
I hope you can still take me in, as your friend