Friday, April 29, 2011

so, moving on?

P.S. I Love You

After watching P.S. I Love You, again, it struck me that we really need somebody to keep on living,
especially to go on great things
Life full of surprises and it may lead to changes that we need to succumbed to
Changes happened and we need to adjust
As a control freak, that I love to get things to be happening the same everyday,
it may need a lot of me to get to move on on the next chapter
If there were changes happened
I cannot really tolerate with too many deviation
I dunno how they can really deal with that
I'm jealous about that

I totally moved by the movie and wonder, why does good times last shorter than bad times
Why don't the good times last longer?
Why can we savour the sheer joy about living?
Especially when we have our loved one, before we need to accept the fact that we had them
I'm too emotional right now
I dunno how to say things
Currently, I can see my life is in misery, though people might see it differently
I'm sick of pushing myself off limit, to be very carefree, have no fear about things
and apparently, I'm not
I scared about the reality, I'm afraid about what people might think about me
I dread every day in my life
I am desperate for the source of joy that I could feel just for a very short time
I want to be happy but it seemed like I can't
I'm in need of strength that I dunno how, what, and from whom will i get one
I cannot stop living
I need to move on
But I don't think I can
I scared...

I am vulnerable but I hate people to know that
I don't want to be the burden for anybody including my family
I hate how everything turns out to be
I dunno how to make it through everything
I am only about to be 21
There are more to come for me
But I dunno whether I can handle it or not
I am all alone
I am frightened
I dunno where to turn to

Too emotional right now
Gonna be continuing later

Anyway, I turn down the call for interview
Maybe this is not my opportunity
I am not up for it for now

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