Saturday, May 30, 2009

so ecstatic...

i'm done with arau open debating championship...
for malay version...ok?!
OMG, xley nk byg ckp omputeh lju2....
hahaha...
stkt mlayu yg da jd mknn ni pon tersekat2...


upon 6 sidangs, 1 je mng....
2 pon margin satu dgn perlis...
xpela...
@least ade...
klu ikotkn markah keseluruhan, team we allz plg rndah...
1400 sth...
team lg 1 yg mrkh byk pon bwh skli sbb dorg klh margin..
pnin pale...
atleast bley rht kjp...
nnt smbg blk...
nk brush up fuckta...
tu pon klu rajen...
hahaha...

nway, we allz xterer sbb xde instructor...
so, klu sape2 yg bce ni yg tao sape2 instructor debat bhs melayu, gtao la yerk..
khidmat anda sgt2 diperlukan...
nk nanges rse asek slh and klh...
only God knows how did it feels...
huhu...

however, loads of lessons learned...
deal with pressure, either about the motions or peer pressure...
a lot!!!!
and i love the very seconds of learning process....
however, bkn sume part buah tu manis, ade je yg x elok nyer...
ade part yg busuk sket, ade part yg ade ulat and all of the sorts...
hahaha..
last but not least, knowing people - either the new ones or old ones deeper, making me wiser, not kaiser, the best speaker for english debate - finalist...
huhu...

hence, i can say that, nothing loads of frustration or enjoyment beats each other...
it's like,
(enjoyment)1-1(frustration) = 0...
but the experiences = superb!!!

nothing more can i tell...
blank already...
this babbling was a good one, i think when i can't really think...
hahha...


hukhuk...

Sunday, May 10, 2009

so, is it time to indulge yourself?

tonite is the last nite i'll be dkt kolej...
hahaha...
i've been thinking that, ab initia of the semester, whether it would feel a long semester...
for the beginning, i did feel that it was a long semester...
as seconds go by, followed by minutes and then hours...
next, a day is gone...
then. another day followed by another day, becomes days to form a month...
then, i'm in the end of semester...
though tomorrow's the final paper of my final exam, not sleeping yet b/c i do know that my roomate is still awake...
lights are on...
rather than torturing myself to sleep under those blinding lights, i'd rather to indulge myself, downloading songs, even i won't listen to it...
the excitement of downloading songs is great!!!
hahaha...
can't say another word...
accompannied by Carrie Underwood...
singing songs that she knows and owns...
huhu...
I'm anticipating my college application...
Zamrud i think is not a chance for me to be in...
but Mut?it's kinda hope...
hahaha...next semester, tight schedule, tight budget, and all tight2 things...a lot of things need to put into account...
hahaha...
so, i'm looking forward to it with a little happiness even though it is close to agony...
huhu...
whatevs...
again, life goes on...
hahaha...
just commented on Leona Lewis' blog on MySpace...
she talked about her hectic day, working on new songs...
came back and get a cute top at Durban...
hahaha..
Life of people go on differently, in a sense of happiness, richness, and so much more...
but thinking that ur life is the most special will lead u to be better one rather than comparing it with the luckier ones...
so, why regret...
just live your lives!!!

hukhuk...

Thursday, May 7, 2009

so, is it wrong to be excited???

'excited'
a word that i start to hate...
things got different when i'm excited...
i planned things in my life but, when excited equal to me, the plan is a total crap...
that's why i hate to plan...

for example...
the simplest plan ever on earth...
going to sleep...
i'm a kinda insomniac, most of the nights...
when i feel sleepy in my 'journey' to enjoy very deep sleep, it's kinda struck me that, 'yeah, u'r about to sleep'...
then, involuntarily, i got excited...
it is not my want to be excited...
in the end, another sleepless nite for me...
"yay, for farith..."

next situation...
i'm planning for a surprise...
the surprise that i was doing for, i don't care how long did it took is jadi...
but, my, i could say, expectation on the expression or response of the 'victim' of the surprise always below par...
they doesn't looked so excited like i imagined they would...
like, saying thank you so much sincerely, which sparkles their eyes with honesty...
or, jumping2 and then hug me...eh, yg ni lbey plak...no la...
tp, anything that happened was so wrong...for me...
it's so kinda unacceptable...for me...

next...
mixed up situation...
i was expecting things...
like my father would be so elated that i'm going to see him...
but, in the end, we end up sulking to each other for not bertegur sape...
it happenned that he seemed not so welcoming...
so, what to expect?
lg???
jln2 dgn kwn2...
expected to be a very hectic outings which, i longed for...
yelling here and there...
crack old jokes...
but...
nothing happened...
just jln2...
talking2 problem...
as usual...
as if we are not apart from each other...
like old days in school...going to school together2...mkn2 kat kantin cik bedah tu hari2...
even kadang kene tggl...
i assume that it is a growing process...
which i have to digest...living things grow...
i can't blame them...
or put the blame on me, for being such childish???

so...
i'm confused...
what ever it is, i have to face it...
what else could i do?
even though i despise planning but what i should do...
stray from it?
no, i'm not!!!
it's important!!!
even the slightest act in our daily life, need plan...
so, i just can't help it...
i have to face the music, and suck it up...
no matter what...
i have some kinda a belief that succes won't come before failure...
so, why so scared to fail?
bak kate org, berani gagal...
i don't give a damn to failure...
huhu...
hopefully i'll find ways to get rid of this simple problem...no matter what happen...
hope against hope?
d'oh!!!


hukhuk...

Saturday, May 2, 2009

so boring...

it's been a good day...
hahaha...
b/c i'm starting my life again...
yesterday, after i sent helmy to the bus stop(die nk blk rmh abg die), i went to sleep...
bgn, solat...tdo blk, bgn, solat, tdo blk...sblm tu online jap...
pastu tdo blk...
bgn solat, tdo blk...
pastu, bgn mandi, solat...
pastu, nk tdo blk da asar plak...
pastu solat, pastu, sket lg nk tdo blk...
tbe tgk ade missed calls...
egtkn psl ape shaz misscall...
rpe2nyer, nk ajak p psr mlm...
then, i drop everything and just go...
with my messy hair, and everything that seems so not good, went well...
hahahha...
bile da jmpe dorg, dorg ckp, 'weyh ko br bgn tdo eh?'
ak ckpla ak da lme da bgn tdo...
ak ckp yg ak trus dtg...
xkms papepon...
ak tmbh lg, ape ak kesah, bkn ade org pon yg knl ak...
nk je ak tmbh, klu kenal pon, ade ke dorg nk kesah...
nobody seems to care for me except for those who ask me, 'weyh ko br bgn tdo eh?' just now...
huhu...
it's hard to find somebody that can make you feel good...
sometimes your closest people can't do any better when u'r in a bad day...
sometimes, you can just make urself feel good about urself alone...
but that doesn't work all the time...
we need friend or friends mb...
but in the bunch, we dunno who can laugh together and cry together or leave us stranded in the middle of heavy downpour...
alone sometimes is the best time to be but...
alone can cause you pain, because you might say that, 'nobody care' and it hurts a lot...
sometimes, people love to be left hurt b/c some people enjoy crying...
sometimes....
hahaha...
dunno what else to add...
but i think i'm getting something off my chest...
just dunno...
what is happening to me...
envy for people getting their beautiful life?
that is because they can do what they love to do or maybe they themselves decide to be happy...
sick of people around for having friends?
that is because i'm the one who is a little picky and choosy when it comes to get a friend...
hate to live my life?
that is because i'm decided to like that...
whatever it is...
life goes on, right?
sometimes it hurts a lot to think that we are in pain...
make me sick...
that, i don't want to think about it that much...
but i just can't help it...
it just 'pop' in my mind...
so, just have to think of it...
nway, can i go further if i continue like to be like this, a pessimist?
so, me myself'll decide...
whatever it is...
i just finished watching desperate housewives season 1...
i'm looking forward to watch the second season which i think a lot i have to catch up...

hukhuk...