Tuesday, December 29, 2009

so living for the coming new year...

new azam?
xtaola...
nk jd lebeh baek je kot...
huhu...

papepon, nk cte dlu...
i've been out for a couple of weeks...
juz got back in my lovely room (it's not as lovely as you guys would've imagined, still it is lovely for me) last tuesday...
and only today i can get in touch with the Net...
huhu...
mse VC cup hr tuh, best sgt...
even xbest mcm yg dbygkn still best jgk...
dpt knl dgn miss Darina yg happening...
dpt jln2 dgn kwn2 ak yg havoc...
VC kt mlake, lgla ak ske, dkt kmpus bndaraya...
lgla best...
mrayap2 mnepon, evn jln kaki pon best je sbb mmg tmpt2 nearby uh tmpt yg best...
dean, farah, shaz = my crazy classmates ade...
2 yg lg syiok...
pastu, junior and db8r BI yg best to have around...
mirul + faiz + aina + firdaus best...
huhu...
sgt best...
ktorg naek pirate ship yg dkt eye on malacca uh (miss blanje 2 yg lg best...)
even da mlm, ak dgn kembar ak jerit mcm org gila...
mmg cuak r...tp time blom naek lg uh masing2 ckp besar...
hahahah...lps tu, haaa...
yg xley blah, my best fren muntah...
naek pirate ship uh ala2 celebr8 lps ktorg tgk rslts ktorg pkai lptop farah dan dikuasakn oleh broadband celcom aina...
hek3...
even ktorg klh sume match, tp xpe...
ktorg blaja byk bnda...
ktorg dpt byk pngalaman being together-gether...
huhu...
sgt sonok....

lps habes VC, trus lpk dkt rmh mak cik = mama...
hr rabu uh kluar dgn
fuad + od + piki + amjat + meg + buz + and last but not least Zack!!!
(ade yg ttggl ke?xegt)
ktorg maen boling, maen game kete...
maen boling ak mng (144 je), maen game kete ak klh...
hahaha...
sgt sonok...
sblm uh ade r gak tsrmpk dgn Ogie dgn Atiq model...
huhu...
smpt plak ktorg mlahar2...
hahaha...
best gla...
da lme x gosip yg xbrape nk gosip...
huhu...
pastu, zack blk awl sbb da nk mlm...cian kt die tp seb baek die tsrmpk dgn bdk MOZAC dkt mc...
then, bdk2 uh tlg antakn zack blk...
seb bek...
ak rse bslh gla kt die...
dala ak yg ajk die kuar the very short notice + it's his first outing sndri kt mlake (klu xsilap r)...
tp he's got lucky...
dpt jmpe mmbe lame = azieq, faliq, zhafir (kot) ntah...
ak + fuad naek piki blk rmh mak cik ak...
even kne pau rm5 dgn piki, atleast die nk anta blk rmh...
mcm naek prebet kt png plak...
hahaha...
papepon, best sgt dpt get updates drpd dorg even ak ni jnis plupe sket...
xbrape nk egt ape yg ktorg borak...
still, ske sgt...
hm, br ak prasan, ak mmg jnis plupe...
btol ckp dean...
tp hrp2 btol r ape yg ak ckp psl die...
si pekak...
hek2...

pastu that weekend, ak blk bndr tggara...
spending my time wit my biological father and his spouse...
huhu...
we have so much differences...
i like the nanny, they don't...
i like pink guavas, they don't...
they thought their son like to eat a lot, i don't, mb other sons do like eat a lot...
and other differences that put us in a lot of very silences that i wish they don't exist...
however, i like it...
they are different from who they were, the one i hate the most...
i getting used to be around them...
just that i'm still holding back...
i dunno y...
mb it has been quite sumtimes we don't hang out...
i hope we'll get better in time...

then, after surviving the awkwardness, back to malacca to collect few stuffs i left there...
then, off i went back to my home, then, my room...
huhu...
it had been a long journey...
my so called 'outstation'...
huhu...

so, i'm ready to live the next year, i think...
i'm thinking of getting more active in terms of everything that a student can possibly do...
i want to get more credits in activity...
just like my twin, i envy her for being such hardworking student but i don't think i can be just like her but still i'm going to do as much as i could to b like her...
hek3...
and to my friends...
i'm so sorry for being so -ve in 2009...
and i'm hoping we can do better as friends in 2010...
twenty ten sounds catchy and so do us'll be...
huhu...
i think i don't sound too enthusiastic cuz sumtimes it doesn't do me good like it does to other people...


so, i'm about to say
big BYE BYE to 2009
and
WELCOME 2010...
hopefully twenty-ten have a lot to offer me...

Saturday, December 5, 2009

so not frustrated...

hahah...
vc cup da nk dekat and i'm not start packing...
next week...
tp xjoin bdk2 kt png...
juz trus p mlake...
lgpon nk p tgok my aunt...
she had a loss few weeks ago...
hopefully she's doing fine and i'm gonna pay her a visit...
so, i'd better start packing...

despite the hatred towards my life, i've to continue living...
hm...
i still have long winding way to go...
hm..tgk E!...
dorg tnjk psl vanessa williams, n i'm totally inspired...
she did all she had to live and i'm going to imitate her...
from that point forward, what i'm thinking is, i've to find inpiration rather than looking back bout things that really drag me down...
huhu...
xpe2...
juz stay strong...
huhu...
though i'm a bird with a broken wings...

Thursday, November 26, 2009

so, here i go again...

juz get upset with everybody...
i dunno y....
hm...
i'm sick of feeling sick...
i dunno what is happening to me...
i miss everybody who are close to me or shud i say most of 'em have become
"used to be close to me"...

i hate saying this...
it does make me feel not good bout myself...
but i just can help it...
i'm sick...
i miss u guys!!!
...BFF...
Is it only so called 'BFF'???
again, i'm saying this...
i'm sick of complaining...
but i just can help it...
huhu, but i'm feeling thankful whenever i think of you's...
hahaha...
da nk rayer kn...
huhu...
so, slmt hr rayer...

p/s: does blogs making ppl feeling sicker than ever?

Monday, November 9, 2009

so, stopping being obnoxius

hm...
after doing a lot of thinking, i can figure sth out...that is, friendship sumtimes is beautiful, like a story that was made...sumtimes, it is beautiful in a way that i cant really figure it out...so, rather than protesting, in askance, about my relationship with my friends, it dawns to me that i should savour every moment of it...my thoughts, i think, is totally true...i'm convinced by my own idea,(plus i'm listening to romantic instrumental now which is so soothing my mind off craps)i'm sick of all of 'em...hahaha...i should never ask silly questions, it came to me sometimes, though...however, i'm not only the living organism ever existed on earth, so, i'm not the only person that should always be sensible of about the things going on, e.g: my confusion of my friendship...sb, however, need to sort this thing for me...i'm sick of being thinking alone for circumstances happen around me...owh, here we go again, i'm the obnoxious boy...

i should stop contemplate all those...huhu...it's ok for me to have conflict with those things...or else, i won't be thinking...putting my mind to rest sumtimes so me the best thing on earth but i have to remind myself that 'lack of thinking will cause your barin to be dead'...but, should i care?i love to be thinkless...here we go gain, i'm the obnoxious boy...

i just finish another novel by Cecilia Ahern, my fav Irish novelist...she wrote a total fantasy that always keep me intrigued to her stories, keep me in my own world, trapped in trance-like...so far, i've done reading, P/S I Love You(a very sweet story), A Place Called Here(caused me confusion mixed with excitement), Thanks For the Memories, (i Cant rememeber the story but, i'm saying, 'thanks for the stories,cecilia') and last but not least, Where the Rainbows End (a very beautiful one)I'm looking forward to read another one, If You Could See Me Now...My beloved sis, (who seems to be surprisingly to ask me to top up her cell just now but fortunately i have some money and i did), just bought me the book for my birthday(which apparently to be months ago)...I'm loving it...cm McD plak...I dunno bout her latest magical touch compositions...ak rse The Gift and Table for Two...i cant wait...whatever it's...it came to me that i love romantic stories which includes movies...i'm starting to collect and watch beautiful roamantic movies just to do the job of boredom clearance...hehehe...i'm glad i finally found sth that i fond to do...huhu...it would be better if the romantic stories are added with humour and funny things...huhu...keep me intrigued...i have to search more interesting things that i think i wud be interested enough to continue living and stop thinking of death or even suicide =)...O_o...seems like nobody wud love to do the job...fine, i'll find it myself!here we go again, i'm the obnoxious boy...

hukhuk...i think i should stop here as it's unhealthy to be so obnoxious...i'm turning a new page...i'm sick of feeling this way...there are loads of feeling that i should try, that's what Morrie (a very thoughtful man i've ever known, but i've never met him face to face, just in a book entitled Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. I'm thanking my fren, shaz cuz she gave it to me) wud say to me if i ask about this feeling thingy...so, it's a good piece of advice from me,
'Stop Obnoxiousness!'
It is good, isn't it?hehehe...

hukhuk...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

so iritated, sad, anxious, happy; all got mixed up

First of all, i'm sad...
I feel lonesome just engulf me and don't think i'm gonna survived inside loneliness...
i'm still searching for fun things and so called 'happiness' as i feel alone...
I didn't get mesages from y close ones, frens and others...
xtao la klu2 dorg yg terlalu bz...
me either...
i'm still stuck with assignment though next week is my finals...
i still have few minutes to ponder, to think of my close ones...
but do they think of me?
i'm sick of starting a conversation, a cold one, that ends mcm tu je...
as if they are not excited i'm texting them...
where are their enthusiasm in our relationship? does it still exist?
why dont' they even text me even once?
even to text me 'hi', i'm totally appreciative...
klu yg cuti2 tu, xkn xley nk msj kot?
xfhm...
klu tanye, xjwb...
mmg xfhm...
i hate to be left alone, unanswered, and stranded...
I dunno who are my frens anymore, where are they - for of course their whereabouts is wherever they are...
but what i'm trying to say is, they are not close to me anymore..they are away and away - drifting further away from me...
people changes and i dun thing that causes people to be away and far enough to be different like where we were b4...
please guys - my frens (who still considering me your frens), keep in touch...
death doesn't seem to be the ultimate factor for us to be different, to be separated...
it is ourselves...
i'm willing to be unhappy here, not enjoying my pleasure of enjoying things around me because i'm sparing them for you...
but sparing those pleasure still leave me thinking...
'do i make you happy?' is the question that i would like to ask to my close ones...
'when was the last time i did make you happy?' is another one...
'why i am the only one to make sacrifices?'
it's rarely happen to me that people is willing to do something unpredictable that can make me feel a little of joy...
i'm willing leaving my family time rayer hari tu just to join you, to see you...
mls la nk ungkit bnda2 yg lps...
sakit ati...
xfaham knape...
questions should be answered...
i need answers...
it's just because i can't really see happy faces glued (even using gam gajah) on every ones' faces...
they seems plastic, they ain't real...
don't leave me hanging...
i'm sick asking myself, 'am i bad enough, am i deficient with things that people seek for?'...
I'm sick of asking myself, 'am i doing anything wrong?'
Now i do realize that forgiveness is not easy for everybody...
I'm hoping that i can 4give and 4get...
i fuc**** damn alone here in penang...
i need you guys back!
please have a moment of truth with me...
if BFF's still exist...
tell me!!!
I'm bored telling people that i have best frens and they got excited with all the stories told but...
when the reality speaks, it is empty...
we are no longer the 'stories'...
are we 'history'?
dun make me think that way...
please...

Seconfdly, i'm happy...
assignments are submitted...
leaving with only a few more...
and i'm about to finish my first half of my sophomore...
i'm excited...
but i need to stop the excitement...
the reason is in previous blog post...
Finals!!!
here i come...
habes final, i can sleep as much as i want...
forgetting the pain i'm having...
my only getaway...

I think, that's all for the time being...



hukhuk...

Friday, October 16, 2009

Sorry for being off for awhile...

I'll be flattered to ffed u guys with new stories...
mixed up ones...
however, i can't really type any because I'm in my English class...
And...

it ends already...

so, i'll post it later...

Today: I'm emotional...(15th Oct is like my bad of luck day)

Friday, August 7, 2009

so exhausted, disappointed, sad, tired and other some more...

I didn't had a proper bday party as my BFF is not around and i'm not going out...
so, just indulge myself by eating the cake that my beloved ibu have bought...
i do njoy that simple party instead of hectic and haywire birthday bash which i don't think anybody will throw for me one...
it doesn't matter...
for those who wished me, appreciate it and still am appreciative...
luv you guys though i'm expecting more and particular people to wish e that day but it's disappointing and still thankful for the unforgotten ones...
it doesn't matter for those who didn't say, 'Happy Birthday' to me directly but i'm still hoping that they still remember me though in a way that i didn't expect...
i just don't care as long as i'm being remembered...
enough...
huhu...
so, it doesn't matter but music matters to me...
hahaha....
xde kaitan pun...
i wish i could post a better and well-told post in terms of the way to structure the words and sentences...
nevertheless, i haven't read a great deal and forgotten a great deal lately...
so, i'm so sorry sbb xpat jd a good story teller that can put you guys in trance of my life...
daa~
stop this nonsense...
hahaha...
so, i'm starting my life back as a student after almost fortnight of 'yasumi' just because of the viral spreading, the dangerous one, not other than the kerbau pendek flu...
hahaha...
swine actually...
so, i'm trying to be at pinkest the of health...(btol ke bnda ni)...
hahahaha...
da xegt da...
hahha...
i'm trying to live my life as normal as i can...
as a student...
huhu...
just because i have to manage a house and a student life and still in progress to at the best level...
however i'm facing a problem that i have not enough sleep that cause me a very painful headache at the break of the dawn...
that i have to struggle to get up and get myself ready for the classes...
i've consulted the doc and he gave me some meds to ease my pain...
still, i love stay back late at nite...
just doing craps that i have not had do...
huhu...
but i'm loving it...
talking craps, cracking old jokes, and other stuffs...


hm, last 2 days, habes jd supervisor on duty...
but i'm so disappointed as i'm not performing well and the others are still in the holiday mode...
so, what could i do, just face the music...
trying to be good to all people but i'm not that kinda people...
however, i nailed it...
i think...
sounds like ungrateful but i'm not...
huhu...

sometimes i hate to tell too much as i'll be a different people...
and i'm changed for the time being as i'm having loads of story-telling conversation as i got free calls that end today...
so, i'm turning to be me again as the matter of time...
however, i'm grateful for the free calls as i can get in touch with most people and get to know loads of story i left behind...
huhu...

yesterday i'm having a good time but yet not that good as i love to have...
i had to attend a meeting that i don't want to...
what could i do...friendship really matters to me...
so, i got myself together for that too...
what's more important than friends???
huhu...
but sometimes the hurt you the way that you can't even think of...
we'll talk about it later...

nihongo no jugyo best tp pnt because we have to remember loads of kotoba...
as it have i can say no similarity in terms of vocab...
thank god we are learning in rumi not japanese letters...
so, i'm so appreciative...
today's is the toughest as we learned about the minutes, what time, days...
though it seems easy which is true only if we do our exercise adequately...
however i do njoy it...

assignment byk tp xtaola smpt ke x nk bwt...
pelan2...
tp ak mmg kne start and buat sket2...
xboleh tinggalkn trus, xmo bwt...

i'll stop here for now...
i'll tell more stories later on which i can say so monotomous and tedious stories...
but i'm in my search of good stories for you to read...
huhu...

hukhuk...

Friday, July 17, 2009

so obnoxius

lps klas kitchen smlm, tkot je rse...
sbb byk gle bnda yg silap time prepare food items and all the sorts...
drpd prepare appetizer, soup and desserts smlm, baek p pastry wat desserts...
lg sedap produk die....
soup dala rse xde pape...
main item silap msk...
starch, berderai...
ntahla...
mcm2...
sume cm silap..
tkot...
klu continuous cmni, abesla mrkh kitchen guer...
tp ad yg berpesan, laen kali bce...mls2 = xperlu wujud...kne bce slalu...
huhu...
tp xpe, bak kate classm8 ak, die kate, klu xsilap kte xkn blaja...
cm sophisticated je bunyi nyer...
hahaha...tp...tuttttttttttt....
hehehe...xpe2...
whatever it's, they're my new friends and hope till later days to come we'll be together...
huhu...
everything's a mess up...
just can't help it but to live it....
so, I've got to move on and be who I'm!!!(tbe2 nyanyi lgu Vanessa Hudgens plak...hahahaha)
xley blah...
dala smlm mengigau...
hahaha...
cm bodo plak rse...tbe2 baring kat ats perut housemate...
cm bodo x???
hahaha...
tkot nyer psl smpai ngigau2...
bahaye!!!!
pastu nk tdo blk ssh sbb cm plik, nape ley tdo ats prut die plak...
hahaha...
B.O.D.O.H!!!
bdk2 serving cm sronok sbb dpt lecturer best...
kate mereka, ateee...
hahaha...
pastu adela sorg ni bwt gosip plak....
hahaha...
xphm....
xpe2....
papepn, ups and downs we can't figure it ouuut....
psl kitchen = down...tkot...
psl ngigau = down???plik, cmpur2...
psl klas serving dorg = ups
whatever it's, life goes on....



hukhuk...

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

so uneasy

to fulfill my promise...
hm, today abes klas tgh hr...
sbb klas hr ni mmg smpai tgh hr je...
so sgt hepi...
sbb...ltih bdn nih ley dikurangkn...
hehehe...
sbb hr isnin hr tu klas serving pertama sem ni...
so, i'm totally attacked by fatigue...
sgt ltih...
from 4 to 11 sumthing...
so, sgt ltih...
sgt tkot xpat score sbb 1st impression matters...
as a waiter hr tu, i'm doing so bad...
forgotten the service sequence, being corrected many times, too friendly with my guest(though they're my friends, good ones), not delivering good service as i'm so darn tired b/c housemate guer borak2 the nite b4 service, so no good sleep = no good service...PLUS, nyamuk yg mengattack guer bertubi2 tnpa belas di pg hr yg sptotnye ak dibuai mimpi yg indah(cm smlm mmpi kucing...warna kuning, sgt gemok, dok diam je, tp time usap2 kucing tu rse cm tkot2 sket sbb xtao nape rse cm kucing tu nk gigit..hahaha...)
i'm uneasy for loads of things...
i'm afraid, panicked, in trance loads of time...
i can't seem to figure things out well today and the previous day...
i dunno what happened...
i'm scared...
feel like crying but i don't think it's the ultimate way but i think it's a helping hand to ease many things...
students' lives, what does it mean to you?
for me, = hectic, busy, have to keep urself alert and cmtula...
sgt tkot b/c i can't really put my focus on my study for the time being...
i'm tired...and it's like unstoppable and continuous...
that worries me a great deal!!!
i'm tired of ulang alik dr rmh ke kmpus...
kne naek bas...
xtaola nape cpt sgt pnt...
mb da lme xsenam kot...
xtao la...
tp xpela, trying to find the good thing behind these hazel situation...
whatever it's, i'll try to do sth called relax...
xpon, trying to apply the concept of 3R...
hahaha...
sounds odd but i think it does help most of the time...
huhu...
stop here for a moment...
have to get myself together first...
then, only i'll solve those trouble...


hukhuk

Saturday, July 4, 2009

so ecstaticly crazy

boring nyer dok kt rumah yg xde tv...
tlg la...
xtao...ade lg beberapa bln lg nk kne dok cmtu sblm go for holiday...
sbnrnya xtao nk cte ape...
otak crammed...
huhu...i'll write better stories later if i do have sth in mind...
promise!
huhu...



hukhuk...

Monday, June 29, 2009

so lovely bored...

dok rumah xbwt pape...
boring la plak...
haha...
tp it is so lovely because my otak is really at rest even there are times i'm gone into my overwhelming trance of my own world thinking bout things i shouldn't think...but then, i hate to that fact as it hurt my head so much...
hopefully these kind of thing is not the 'voice-like' thing that might be happening to those schizophrenic (am spelling it correctly???) sufferer...
huhu...
however it is..
my life is going to start within these few days...
i'm going back to my daily campus days which i despise to the challenges coming but i have to face it +vely...
though i might sound good but i have to keep it good as i tend to be so crazy kinda person to face the music...
so, i have to brave myself with all the efforts i could muster...
the word 'have' like so heavy to me...
i think, i'd rather use 'need'...
xkesahla dgn pktaan...
keep the faith, Farith...
hahaha...
Part 3, here i come!!!
huhu...
looking forward to it but afraid of it too...


hukhuk...

Friday, June 12, 2009

so, it's satisfying...

i only managed to get 3.81 which mean a vast decrease...
i don't know how to tackle the subjects which i get b+ which is unbelievable but yet i have to have it...
i can't change it...
i juz have to accept it...
huhu...
but frankly speaking, i'm a little disappointed...
huhu...

however, i'll get through it n wiling to work my ass more!!!
hahaa...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

so geram...

today the results suppose to be out...
but...
WTF is happening???
i can't wait...
whatevs...
hopefully the administrator will do their best to give my results!!!!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

so ecstatic...

i'm done with arau open debating championship...
for malay version...ok?!
OMG, xley nk byg ckp omputeh lju2....
hahaha...
stkt mlayu yg da jd mknn ni pon tersekat2...


upon 6 sidangs, 1 je mng....
2 pon margin satu dgn perlis...
xpela...
@least ade...
klu ikotkn markah keseluruhan, team we allz plg rndah...
1400 sth...
team lg 1 yg mrkh byk pon bwh skli sbb dorg klh margin..
pnin pale...
atleast bley rht kjp...
nnt smbg blk...
nk brush up fuckta...
tu pon klu rajen...
hahaha...

nway, we allz xterer sbb xde instructor...
so, klu sape2 yg bce ni yg tao sape2 instructor debat bhs melayu, gtao la yerk..
khidmat anda sgt2 diperlukan...
nk nanges rse asek slh and klh...
only God knows how did it feels...
huhu...

however, loads of lessons learned...
deal with pressure, either about the motions or peer pressure...
a lot!!!!
and i love the very seconds of learning process....
however, bkn sume part buah tu manis, ade je yg x elok nyer...
ade part yg busuk sket, ade part yg ade ulat and all of the sorts...
hahaha..
last but not least, knowing people - either the new ones or old ones deeper, making me wiser, not kaiser, the best speaker for english debate - finalist...
huhu...

hence, i can say that, nothing loads of frustration or enjoyment beats each other...
it's like,
(enjoyment)1-1(frustration) = 0...
but the experiences = superb!!!

nothing more can i tell...
blank already...
this babbling was a good one, i think when i can't really think...
hahha...


hukhuk...

Sunday, May 10, 2009

so, is it time to indulge yourself?

tonite is the last nite i'll be dkt kolej...
hahaha...
i've been thinking that, ab initia of the semester, whether it would feel a long semester...
for the beginning, i did feel that it was a long semester...
as seconds go by, followed by minutes and then hours...
next, a day is gone...
then. another day followed by another day, becomes days to form a month...
then, i'm in the end of semester...
though tomorrow's the final paper of my final exam, not sleeping yet b/c i do know that my roomate is still awake...
lights are on...
rather than torturing myself to sleep under those blinding lights, i'd rather to indulge myself, downloading songs, even i won't listen to it...
the excitement of downloading songs is great!!!
hahaha...
can't say another word...
accompannied by Carrie Underwood...
singing songs that she knows and owns...
huhu...
I'm anticipating my college application...
Zamrud i think is not a chance for me to be in...
but Mut?it's kinda hope...
hahaha...next semester, tight schedule, tight budget, and all tight2 things...a lot of things need to put into account...
hahaha...
so, i'm looking forward to it with a little happiness even though it is close to agony...
huhu...
whatevs...
again, life goes on...
hahaha...
just commented on Leona Lewis' blog on MySpace...
she talked about her hectic day, working on new songs...
came back and get a cute top at Durban...
hahaha..
Life of people go on differently, in a sense of happiness, richness, and so much more...
but thinking that ur life is the most special will lead u to be better one rather than comparing it with the luckier ones...
so, why regret...
just live your lives!!!

hukhuk...

Thursday, May 7, 2009

so, is it wrong to be excited???

'excited'
a word that i start to hate...
things got different when i'm excited...
i planned things in my life but, when excited equal to me, the plan is a total crap...
that's why i hate to plan...

for example...
the simplest plan ever on earth...
going to sleep...
i'm a kinda insomniac, most of the nights...
when i feel sleepy in my 'journey' to enjoy very deep sleep, it's kinda struck me that, 'yeah, u'r about to sleep'...
then, involuntarily, i got excited...
it is not my want to be excited...
in the end, another sleepless nite for me...
"yay, for farith..."

next situation...
i'm planning for a surprise...
the surprise that i was doing for, i don't care how long did it took is jadi...
but, my, i could say, expectation on the expression or response of the 'victim' of the surprise always below par...
they doesn't looked so excited like i imagined they would...
like, saying thank you so much sincerely, which sparkles their eyes with honesty...
or, jumping2 and then hug me...eh, yg ni lbey plak...no la...
tp, anything that happened was so wrong...for me...
it's so kinda unacceptable...for me...

next...
mixed up situation...
i was expecting things...
like my father would be so elated that i'm going to see him...
but, in the end, we end up sulking to each other for not bertegur sape...
it happenned that he seemed not so welcoming...
so, what to expect?
lg???
jln2 dgn kwn2...
expected to be a very hectic outings which, i longed for...
yelling here and there...
crack old jokes...
but...
nothing happened...
just jln2...
talking2 problem...
as usual...
as if we are not apart from each other...
like old days in school...going to school together2...mkn2 kat kantin cik bedah tu hari2...
even kadang kene tggl...
i assume that it is a growing process...
which i have to digest...living things grow...
i can't blame them...
or put the blame on me, for being such childish???

so...
i'm confused...
what ever it is, i have to face it...
what else could i do?
even though i despise planning but what i should do...
stray from it?
no, i'm not!!!
it's important!!!
even the slightest act in our daily life, need plan...
so, i just can't help it...
i have to face the music, and suck it up...
no matter what...
i have some kinda a belief that succes won't come before failure...
so, why so scared to fail?
bak kate org, berani gagal...
i don't give a damn to failure...
huhu...
hopefully i'll find ways to get rid of this simple problem...no matter what happen...
hope against hope?
d'oh!!!


hukhuk...

Saturday, May 2, 2009

so boring...

it's been a good day...
hahaha...
b/c i'm starting my life again...
yesterday, after i sent helmy to the bus stop(die nk blk rmh abg die), i went to sleep...
bgn, solat...tdo blk, bgn, solat, tdo blk...sblm tu online jap...
pastu tdo blk...
bgn solat, tdo blk...
pastu, bgn mandi, solat...
pastu, nk tdo blk da asar plak...
pastu solat, pastu, sket lg nk tdo blk...
tbe tgk ade missed calls...
egtkn psl ape shaz misscall...
rpe2nyer, nk ajak p psr mlm...
then, i drop everything and just go...
with my messy hair, and everything that seems so not good, went well...
hahahha...
bile da jmpe dorg, dorg ckp, 'weyh ko br bgn tdo eh?'
ak ckpla ak da lme da bgn tdo...
ak ckp yg ak trus dtg...
xkms papepon...
ak tmbh lg, ape ak kesah, bkn ade org pon yg knl ak...
nk je ak tmbh, klu kenal pon, ade ke dorg nk kesah...
nobody seems to care for me except for those who ask me, 'weyh ko br bgn tdo eh?' just now...
huhu...
it's hard to find somebody that can make you feel good...
sometimes your closest people can't do any better when u'r in a bad day...
sometimes, you can just make urself feel good about urself alone...
but that doesn't work all the time...
we need friend or friends mb...
but in the bunch, we dunno who can laugh together and cry together or leave us stranded in the middle of heavy downpour...
alone sometimes is the best time to be but...
alone can cause you pain, because you might say that, 'nobody care' and it hurts a lot...
sometimes, people love to be left hurt b/c some people enjoy crying...
sometimes....
hahaha...
dunno what else to add...
but i think i'm getting something off my chest...
just dunno...
what is happening to me...
envy for people getting their beautiful life?
that is because they can do what they love to do or maybe they themselves decide to be happy...
sick of people around for having friends?
that is because i'm the one who is a little picky and choosy when it comes to get a friend...
hate to live my life?
that is because i'm decided to like that...
whatever it is...
life goes on, right?
sometimes it hurts a lot to think that we are in pain...
make me sick...
that, i don't want to think about it that much...
but i just can't help it...
it just 'pop' in my mind...
so, just have to think of it...
nway, can i go further if i continue like to be like this, a pessimist?
so, me myself'll decide...
whatever it is...
i just finished watching desperate housewives season 1...
i'm looking forward to watch the second season which i think a lot i have to catch up...

hukhuk...

Thursday, April 30, 2009

hello...
it's me...
who just accidentally sleep b4 maghrib and then, woke up just a few minutes b4 isya'...
juz b/c of sleepless night@imsoniac behaviour...
hahaha...
u do noe me...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

so, VOTE you ALLZ!!!!

I've added poll widget that allow you to vote on what you would do if...
I'm searching for answers...
so...
please look at the right-hand-side of this blog...
njoy voting!!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

so today...

Today has been a very shocking day...
haha...
i woke up early (@6.30am) & up at this moment (@11.09am) eventhough i didn't have anything so important & specific to do such as sitting for the final paper...
Today is the day which i believed to be the hardest day for my rum8 b/c he is sitting the toughest paper(i assumed so as he always talk about his marks)...but still not for me...i' so elated...
Today is the day which i manage to have a morning walk which i long very much...
it has been like a couple or more years of no morning walk - to enjoy the cold morning breeze, and beautiful scene of sun getting out from its hiding place...
I'm so jubilant and thrilled to be awake early today...
and...
I'm hoping that today will be my everyday days...
huhu...
hoping it's not enough, it should be go along with working the thing's out...
ok, stop babbling...
hahaha...
smile always...
and live your lives...


XOXO

Monday, April 27, 2009

so music-addicted...

does this title is suitable for me?

the sitution is...
i like to download variety of songs...
though i didn't like the singer...
but for those that i totally into them, i will struggle to get all of their records over the internet...
doesn't matter it is free of charge or not...but preferably the free ones(mnela nk cekau duet kn?)...
hahaha...but for KC, you are so lucky =)...
so, what da ya think???

Sunday, April 26, 2009

so afraid...

hr da start paper...
it starts to be the best start i think...
i think i can tackle the true/false and multiple answers question quite good...
but essay part?
huhu, it start to juggle me around sbb byk yg blur...
tao tp sket2 jela...
tgk2 markah cm byk je kne tulis...
sdhnyer...
xsmpt...
mule2 drft pkai pensel...
sb tkot missed out points yg xspatotnyer miss...
tp time mangement is totally wrong time bwt paper mgt...
OMG...
dala, my discretion is like at the lowest level i can think of i'm at...
therefore, it has been a great fear for the time being...
dala, pg td sblm xm xpat nk tdo...
kol 5 lbey rsenyer dpt llp...
pstu, kol 5.50 da terjage blk sbb hr ni azan kuat giler...
cam orang kelaparan tgh jerit...
tp niat org tu baek...
xbaek ak ckp cmtu...
huhu...
tp nk wat cmne...
lalok...
pnin...
sume adela...
bercampur-baur...
Tuhan saje yg tao...
let the bygone be bygone...eh, btol ke ni?
hehehe...
bedal jela...
lessons learned but the matters that was happenig in the xm hall, i totally want to forget...
to do so, ak dgr lgu Pink, Bad Influence...
you all should try...
kla, nk p mandi...
da nk maghrib...
kang kwn ak dtg blk ajk ak mkn die xjmpe plak...
seb bek jmpe kwn yg baek kt cni...
klu x, i totally alone...
huhu...
ok, tata...
c ya in the next post...

=)

Saturday, April 25, 2009

so anxious...

Today is another unproductive day...
if this is likely to continue to happen...
i'm screw up!!!
tkot nyer...
lek3...
dgr lagu Pussycat Dolls dulu...
hahaha...

so jk...

It has been few days of unproductive day...
masuk ari ni da masuk hr yg ke 3...
doin nothing that is totally out of topic dlm xm...
i dunno what happen to me...
am sick or what?
It has been a msterious happening ever...
been missing sb too much...
but i dunno whom i've been missing...
feeling like crying but no one will listen...
huhu...
been so blank and suddenly blur to my target of being a student...
i know people do screwed up but this time around, it has been a total crap...
my Lord, do help me...
feel like, hm...
just dunno what to say...
what a pessimist, narrow-minded guy ever lived on earth...
oh, how pathetic i do sound...
i still dunno what should i do next...
i haven't finsih revising...
the paper is tomorrow....
oh, my dear...
still, i can't feel ant urge of examintion...
afraid of crying after the paper...
holy shizit!!!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

so woory...

Today is the starting of my study week...
therefore, i'm kinda happy and kinda boring....
Happy = no classes anymore...
Boring = no friends to be with, they allz gone home already...
worry = not start my study yet, no mood to do so making me ++ worried...
so, dunno what to do...
huhu...
whateverla...
should think what is the best 4 me myself and I...
ma family too...
hm...
dunno la...
xtao nk tulis ape sbnrnya...
hopefullt i'm getting better...
i think i should start watch desperate houswives...
it wud be fun...
tonite...
the cinema begins!!!!
looking forward to it...
l8r...
daaa~~~

Thursday, April 9, 2009

so elated...

huhu...
it's been a while that i am trying to change the layout...
at last...
sok hr last klas...
looking forward to exams but assignment is not done and preparation is like big NO,NO, as well...
so, thinking of searching for self-heal to encounter these things...
therefore, my happiness is not that long enough becoz of these...
huhu...
however, i'm trying the bestest of me to do things that i should do first...
watching hit series and read novel that is a MUST for me now already changed into sth that is very and total awkward thing to do...
big Q marks is on my head...
what is happening to me...
papepon, i'll try, test, cube, etc3...
okla...
nk smbung wat assignment...
OMG...
it's already 2 am...
GTG...
tata...

Monday, March 9, 2009

so blank...

dunno what is happening to me...
i am so drifted away from what i should do...
nothing more to do rather than thinking of what my mother texted me just now...
sth that i should remember and i hope i wud remember it always...
signin out 'cause i'm so sleepy...
my time now is 3.42 am..
time to sleep...
sick of hoping...
so, i'm singing out...
chow...

Thursday, March 5, 2009

so confused

things got jumbled up...
i dunno which one to do first...
starting to be lazy, not study-focussed anymore...
tiredness really engulf me into big hole which i dunno where it will lead me to...
hoping that i'm gonna be safe at the end of the journey...
scared...
D'oh...
trying to be good, to feel good...
stoping this nonsense...
stopping...
and stopping...
stop!!!
hahaha...
crazy huh?
i AM crazy...

Monday, March 2, 2009

so tired

so tired today...
klas kitchen guer pnuh bala...
kne kinda torture kat pastry tuh...
mknn dala xdpt nk mkn byk dsgt sbb kne halau dgn chef, kne blk pastry...
egtkn knape chef naek hangin semcm...
rupe2nyer die punye tgn tercelup minyak...
accidents happen...
so, have to face the next indirect consequence of it...
haha...
lg satu, yg xley nk blah 2 kn, dah la lapo, tp xdpt mknn yg byk cuz dorg xbungkuskn...
slh ak gak kn...
sape srh xnk pesan kat dorang...
tp nk bwt cmne...
dugaan...
haha...
take it +ve babe!!!
never let yourself down...
smlm, last minute siapkn notis, slh taip...
OMG, too late to redo...
so, just btolkn pkai tgn je...
hm, can think str8 2day...
fatigue attacks me...
so tired...
hm, think +ve!!!
hikhik always!!!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

so sorry...

tdo sgt best...
hehehe...
supposed to be pg td p kuar dgn shaz and the gang tp huhu...
tdo sgt best...
hahaha...
so sorry...
tp ade gak bnda yg geram sesgt...
pg td egtkn nk online tp....
wireless ade problem...
not my laptop...
so sorry to blame on people/things...
nway...
my life is getting harder n tougher...
starts to neglect things that i shud do in the first place...
my studies...
...
tkot nk mampoz if sth dat i don't wanted to happen will be real...
hm...
(praying now that i will be good...)

Thursday, February 26, 2009

i'm forced...

Huhu...
Another blog to be updated...
mls r plak...
tp nk wat camne...
hahaha...
don't like to tell stories...
but wat shud i do...
i'm forced to do so...
hehe...